


Lionheart

by tsuristyle



Category: SMAP
Genre: Angst, Gen, Kimura's bandmates, Kimura's marriage
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-20
Updated: 2016-12-20
Packaged: 2018-09-10 14:12:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 465
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8920237
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tsuristyle/pseuds/tsuristyle
Summary: Kimura goes for a run on the beach. Set in 2000.(Written September 2010.)





	

Kimura stood, barefoot, in the cold sand. His surfboard was heavy under his arm, the wind and waves perfect, but now that he was here he couldn't face the prospect of surfing.  
  
He was getting married in a week.  
  
His stomach tightened. He dropped his board and set off down the beach, feeling the roughness of the sand under his feet.  
  
There wasn't anything wrong with it. He was just like any other guy, when it came down to it. The media flurry, the company meetings, the extent to which his private life became yet another marketing factor-- he picked up a clump of sand and flung it at the waves. It scattered across the water with a hiss.  
  
But when he closed his eyes, he was standing on the stage, drenched in light and sweat and the cheers of the crowd, raising his voice in unison with four others. They'd sung together and danced together for ten years, five moving as one along the same path. He knew that any of them, without hesitation, would say that SMAP was the most important thing in their life. And as much as he hated to acknowledge it, he was afraid of himself, of the effect he might have on the group's future. If they lost everything they'd worked for, he'd never forgive himself.  
  
But if it meant not devoting himself to his wife and child-- He bit down on his tongue and broke into a run.  
  
He was worried that it was too soon, that this might be his only chance, that he was ridiculous for even thinking of marriage. How could he live with a job that deprived him of what he wanted? How could he put his own happiness above the welfare of the group? Under the makeup and fancy clothes, he was just an ordinary man-- and he was scared. Of not having the time to be there for his future family, of having to pull away from SMAP to become a husband and father, of not being able to support either with his full heart.  
  
The waterlogged sand gave under his feet. He landed on his hands and knees, cold water pooling up under him, and dug his fingers into the sand. He was going to break, he was going to be torn in two--  
  
  
\--No. This was stupid. This was cowardly. He unclenched his hands, watching as water smoothed over the marks he'd left.  
  
He would stay whole. He wasn't just an ordinary man, he was too strong, too determined; he could swallow back his fear and tell himself with absolute certainty that it was going to work, because he was _Kimura Takuya_ , damn it. There was no way he could lose, not to anything or anyone.  
  
  
Not even to himself.


End file.
